Meme Time: "If I were a hockey player."

Stolen from Off Wing Opinion-

If I Were a Hockey Player:

Team: Washington Capitals
Uniform Number: 16 (I'm giving up 17 to Clark, and Eric McErlain, apparently. Plus, 16 is one half of 32, a fitting tribute I think.)
Position: Right Wing
Nickname: Mad Dog (This was honsetly my nickname playing youth hockey.)
Dream Linemates: Wayne Gretzky and Alex Ovechkin.
Rounding out the PP: Ray Borque and Bobby Orr.
Job: Offensive specialist who is gleefully irresponsible in my own end, before developing into a good all-around player later in my career.
Signature Move: A laser-guided wrist shot to the top corner.
Strengths: Aforementioned wrist shot. (It is entirely possible that Alex Semin is living most of my dream already.)
Weaknessess: Secret inability to skate crossovers to the right.
Injury Problems?: Right knee.
Equipment: Full face cage, a la college hockey (you can never be too safe), Bauer skates with one of the blades colored red. A good old fashioned wood stick.
Nemesis: St. Louis Blues defenseman Jay McKee.
Scandal Involvement: Whatever it is, I'm sure it involves a limousine in some way.
Who I'd face in the Stanley Cup Finals: The Red Wings. I still haven't forgiven them for 1998.
What I'd do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Try to dropkick it accross a frozen canal in Ontario and then leave it there over night.
Would the media love me or hate me?: My quick wit and impish grin would win over everyone, and I would quickly become a media darling and the new face of the NHL.