And I Really Mean It

I'm not going to lie. I, like the obviously-fake Caps fan I am, missed most of tonight's game. I only caught the last fifteen minutes of the third period, and even then, I had to endure the rather distracting taunts of a Pittsburgh native (one who had never watched a Penguins game in his life, no less).

Nevertheless, I feel compelled to sum up the game in two simple words.

F*ck. Pittsburgh.

Recaps From People That Matter:
-A View From the Cheap Seats
-Bleatings From a Caps Nut
-Off Wing Opinion
-The Peerless Prognosticator

Ruh-Roh

I imagine that I am in the rather small minority that hope that this turns out to be nothing more than another stupid ploy for the Penguins to get a sweeter arena deal than the one they already have.

That said, "we have no choice but to declare an impasse and to notify NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman that we will aggressively explore relocation" sounds pretty damn serious.

I Hate Pittsburgh

Once again the Capitals played a solid game defensively and once again, the guys on offense let them down. The Caps have now scored just 17 goals in their last nine games (an average of 1.89 goals per game) since a 7-3 win over the Hurricanes on January 27. They are 2-5-2 over that stretch. For all the early-season talk of how much the defense needed to improve, it is incredibly frustrating watching them hold Sidney Crosby in check yet again yet still fail to convert it into any points in the standings. What's worse is I can't even figure out exactly what is wrong with this team's offense (Okay, that's not true, the problem is that the Alexes are slumping and the Power Play is for shit. But how do you fix that?) At this point, I really don't see them turning it around, which means the Caps are likely to finish at or below where they finished last year in terms of the standings.

As for the game itself, I thought the Caps, at the very least, played it dead even with the Penguins. The problem is, when one team is hot and the other is slumping, guess which team is going to get the lucky bounces that decide close games? I give Evgeni Malkin a ton of credit on his goal late in the second period because it was a fantastic shot to the top corner from a bad angle, but I doubt he could do that again if you gave him fifty tries. Likewise, when Alexander Semin beats a goalie that badly, 99 times out of 100 the puck ends up under the crossbar (his overtime game winner against Atlanta being the best example of that) instead of ringing off of it. Once again, if this loss were an isolated incident, everybody involved would simply shrug and say "It just wasn't our night." Unfortunately for the Caps, it hasn't been their night in quite a long time.

Recaps From People That Matter:
-Bleatings From a Caps Nut
-Off Wing Opinion (1st Period, 2nd Period, 3rd Period)
-Puckhead's Thoughts

Caps Bloggers Happy Hour Version 3.0:
Once again, the Caps Bloggers Happy Hour was a roaring success. Which is good, because for a while there it looked like the whole thing was going to consist of me sitting in a corner by myself. The attendees this time around included yours truly, Mr. and Mrs. DC Sports Chick, A View From the Cheap Seats (plus guest), Capital Fanatic (plus guest), and Gustafsson (plus Mrs. Gustafsson and Gustafsson Jr.) and pucksandbooks from On Frozen Blog. We also had some verious non-Caps bloggers show up: William F. Yurasko (and guest) who was joining us for a second time, as well as Ah, Bugger and As Smooth as Sandpaper. Which brings the grand total of attendees to... fifteen! For those of you who are keeping count, that is a 50% increase over v.2.0. I bet you feel really stupid for not showing up, don't you? But don't worry, you have one more chance when the CBHH will be taking over the Grand Slam Sports Bar in the Grand Hyatt downtown at 10th & H St, NW on March 12. If you miss that one, you'll never forgive yourself.

Yes, It's That Time Again

This here blog may not be very good, but if there is at least one thing it is good at, it's uniting Caps fans with the lure of alcohol (also, hating on Dainius Zubrus). And so it is I'm pleased to announce the third edition of the Caps Bloggers Happy Hour. This time around, we'll be heading back to Bugsy's in Old Town Alexandria to take in the February 18th game between the Washington Capitals and the Pittsburgh Penguin Scum (a.k.a. the Kansas City Penguins, Flightless Sea Fowl etc. Take your pick).

As has been the case previously, your truly will be there about a half hour before the opening face off wearing my red white and blue hat (like this one) with Craig Laughlin's signature on it. So feel free to stop on by. (Seriously, please come. So far the only people who have said they'll be there are myself and Mr. and Mrs. DCSportsChick. That's only three people.) (Not that there's anything wrong with that. They are both excellent people.) (Also, screw you J.P. Nobody challenges me in a contest of parentheticals because I always win.)

Gotta Put the Puck In the Net

Because I have a real life that occasionally forces me to drop everything I'm doing at a moment's notice and rush out to Takoma Park, I missed a large portion of today's Caps-Penguins game, so I'm going to refrain from commenting on it too extensively other than to say that there is very little left to say. They played badly two nights ago against the Panthers and got blown out, they played pretty well against the Penguins today and lost a close game. Get used to it.

Recaps From People That Matter:
-A View From the Cheap Seats
-Bleatings From a Caps Nut
-Capital Fanatic
-On Frozen Blog
-Puckhead's Thoughts

Okay, maybe one or two things...

It has been brought to my attention that my initial reaction to the Capitals' humiliating disheartening frustrating loss to the Penguins might have been a touch pessimistic. Therefore, I'd like to take a moment to highlight the positives that came from the game, in convenient bullet point format:

• Alex Ovechkin's two assists, bringing his totals for the month of December to two goals and eight assists for ten points in five games.
• Chris Clark's two goals, giving him a total of five goals in his last four games. (These first two are not at all unrelated, by the way.)
  
• The Capitals' one standings point, moving them into a tie with the NY Islanders for seventh place in the Eastern Conference.
• The $70 or so I spent on this game, leaving a rather noticable hole in my checking account. (Okay, this isn't, technically, a positive.)
• The somewhat nifty "jersey bag" I was given upon entering the arena. All of a sudden, my Christmas shopping is slightly more complete.

Let the record show that these positives do not, in any way, mitigate the fact that this night ultimately turned out to be some sort of hellish nightmare. But I need something to get me through to Friday.

I Have Nothing Good To Say

During the second intermission, there were not one but two text message marriage proposals flashed across the big screen. For both couples' sakes, I hope nobody said yes, because A) text messaging your marriage proposal? Seriously? B) any engagement that started at tonight's game is most certainly going to end badly. I'm thinking probably something involving some sort of decapitation.

Going into tonight's game, I thought it would be a chance for the Caps to have a real statement game, and they did. However, instead of saying "Take notice, NHL. We've arrived", they said "We all belong to some strange, Scientology-like cult in which we do not recognize the existence of anything labelled with the number two. In fact, we've never even heard of Brian Pothier." I don't know what the problem is, but something needs to be done about the Capitals' inability to put together a complete 60 minutes. With the exception of that ten minute stretch from the end of the second to the start of the third, the Caps pretty thoroughly dominated every aspect of the game. Yet here I am, lamenting yet another heartbreaking loss (albeit a somewhat contrived shootout loss, but still) to the Penguins.

This would normally be the part where I give the Penguins their due credit for their heroic comeback, but the fact is that they deserve no credit. The Capitals were the better team tonight and they flat out gave away two points. The fact that they get a point for trying is of little consequence and, quite frankly, offends me somewhat. The fact that this team will be rewarded in any way for this debacle is disgusting and the NHL needs to do away with the point-for-a-loss travesty.

Okay. I'm done. I've vented. I've said my piece. Let's take a semi-rational look. What was the deal with Hanlon's shootout lineup? Green? Clark? I love them both, and I know some of the other guys have had some issues in the shootout but I just don't get it. I get that Clark had the hot hand tonight with two goals, but they were both a result of hard work in front of the net, not his beautiful breakaway skills. I'm not one to get too upset about anything that happens in the shootout, because I still think it is a load of crap, but my opinion of it doesn't change the fact that the Caps are leaving points out on the ice. And making it absolutely unbearable to be around the Pittsburgh fans. (Thank God I can walk home because I don't think I would've been able to take the Metro. There is a very good chance I would have gotten into some sort of physical confrontation. Which is kind of scary in that I was completely sober and, even when I'm not, I don't get in fights with people.)

The worst part of the whole evening (or best, depending on your point of view about these sorts of things) is going to be the large welt I'm going to wake up with on my ankle tomorrow morning, thanks to my kicking my seat in frustration as I was getting up to leave. That was a poor decision.

Recaps From People That Matter:
-A View From The Cheaps Seats
-Bleatings From a Caps Nut
-Capital Punishment
-Japers' Rink (Pretty much everything you need to know is right here)
-The Peerless Prognosticator
-Puckhead's Thoughts