Now That Everyone Has Caught Up, This Blog Is Probably Not Relevant Anymore, Unless You Like Absurdly Long Entry Titles

There are few things I like better than feeling smug and superior. So it brings me great pleasure to direct you over to this post by Caps Nut (who, incidentally, is doing the Lord's work when it comes to arguing against fighting in the NHL). In it, he discusses the various ramifications of the NHL's current system of awarding standings points. He discusses point inflation, record inflation, and the diminishing significance of the above-.500 record. For some reason, it all sounds vaguely familiar. Almost as though someone else I know was talking about the same thing all the way back in January... Oh wait, here it is. Also, here. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Smug superiority intended solely for comedic effect.)

Given that the topic is suddenly relevant again, I decided to revisit the revised standings I put together back in January. Like I did then, I've taken a look at each Eastern Conference team's record, and adjusted it by taking away shootout wins (converted to ties) and overtime losses (converted to regulation losses). The results this time around are even more dramatic, no doubt owing to the larger sample size. Check it out (in newfangled Google Spreadsheet form!).



The real standings have seven teams within six points of each other fighting for the final two playoff spots, whereas the adjusted standings have six teams within seven points duking it out. Seems like that race is tighter than it would have been. However, as Caps Nut so wisely pointed out, the difference in points is a much bigger gap when the teams you're chasing can earn points without ever winning a game.

So, thanks to Gary Bettman, instead of the defending Stanley Cup champs trying to hold off the upstart Thrashers in the Southeast division, you've got the Hurricanes languishing in 11th place and in danger of missing the playoffs altogether. Instead of a down-to-the-wire race for the Northeast Division crown (as well as the top spot overall) between Buffalo and Ottawa, you've got the Sabres running away with it. Instead of the stupid f'ing Panthers, one of the hottest teams in the league, making a valiant run at the final playoff spot, you've got them virtually eliminated and coasting through meaningless games like last night.

But at least the New York Rangers get to sneak into the playoffs. Hockey fans everywhere are rejoicing over that one. Yup, this whole shootout thing makes everything waaaay more exciting.

The Ugliest Thing You'll See All Day

Unless your team is the Buffalo Sabres.




















Discuss.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: I have absolutely no reason to believe this is anything other than a Photoshop mockup of what a new Caps jersey could look like. I just put it here because I was bored.)

Fifteen Miserable Years

Rather than simply regurgitating the gist of this article by Yahoo! Sports columnist Dan Wetzel, I will simply quote what may be the single best paragraph ever written about the current state of the NHL. (Special thanks to the Caps' Message Board for the heads up. They don't completely suck absolutely all the time.)

Bettman is set to begin his 15th year as commissioner Thursday, and like most hockey fans I feel the need to mark the occasion by popping a bottle of champagne, chugging the entire thing in an effort to drown my misery and then smashing the empty bottle over my temple to black out the memories.

This is why you may notice that most of my links to game recaps send you over to Yahoo!

As for me, you are welcome to read my opinion of Mr. Bettman by checking out my favorite tag, Gary Bettman is a freaking moron.

You May Want to Sit Down Before Reading This

A piece of news information that may very well be the most shocking thing you hear all week: Viewership for the NHL All-Star Game was down. Waaaaaay down. 76 percent down, to be exact.

I know what you're thinking: "But Biff, Gary Bettman, in all his infinite wisdom, moved the game to a cable network that many people in the U.S. can't watch and to a night where it would be up against the most watched program on television. How could such a thing have happened?"

Remember, back when the NHL was on ABC, when the league had the All-Star game on the same day as the NFL Pro Bowl? Back when Bettman was at least able to make it appear as though he might be able to try to attract casual fans? The sad thing is, Bettman could have easily moved the game to today, a Sunday with no NFL and no other major sporting events, on NBC, a nationally broadcast network.

Gary Bettman sucks at his job almost as much as I do. And I suck at my job pretty bad. Just ask my boss.

The Most Meaningless Statistic In Hockey

The Capitals, if you hadn't noticed, recently completed the first half of their season with a win over the Montreal Canadiens to give them a 17-17-7 record. Many people have said that it is quite an accomplishment to see this team finish the first half of the year with an even .500 record. What those people fail to realize is the utter meaninglessness of the term ".500" in the New NHL. Take a look at the standings and you'll see that, for all games completed through January 5th, there are 21 NHL teams with "above .500" records, while there are only eight who are "below .500".

By comparison, the NFL's recently completed season saw a total of 12 teams above five hundred and twelve teams below (with eight teams finishing even). The MLB's 2006 season had fourteen above and sixteen below, and the NBA to date has fourteen teams above and fifteen below (with one team even).

Can someone explain to me how it is that having twenty-one teams with supposedly above five hundred records is supposed to be good for the sport? I get that it creates the illusion of parity so that just about any fan can look at his or her tema and think "Hey, we're still right there in it!" but I think most fans are smart enough to look at the standings and realize that Gary Bettman is trying to pull the wool over their eyes. I get that complaining about the overtime loss rule is nothing new or original, but with the owner of the team saying "We are halfway through the season and we are a 500 team" as a way of encouraging fan support, we are all deluding ourselves a little bit. Say what you will about the shootout, the fact is that this team has lost 24 times so far this year.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: This whole thing has a much more negative edge than I intended. I'm not trying to take anything away from what the Caps have accomplished. I assure you I am still wearing rose colored glasses and drinking plenty of Kool Aid. All I really wanted to do was rant about how stupid Gary Bettman's "New" NHL is.)

Are We Being Called Back Home?

J.P. is already all over the recent news about the NHL's potential realignment, but I felt compelled to chime in with a quote from a Canadian Press report (emphasis added):

The new divisions in the East: one would feature Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto, Buffalo, Boston, Pittsburgh and Western Conference alumni Columbus. The other division would include the New York Rangers, New York Islanders, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Washington, Tampa Bay, Florida and Carolina. The Caps rejoining their old Patrick Division rivals was a popular sentiment at Wednesday's meeting.

Kudos to the NHL for finally getting it. No matter how hard he tries to prove it isn't so, Gary Bettman is actually occasionally capable of a thought that isn't completely idiotic. Although, to be fair, this proposal still ends with the Caps two most prominent rivals in other divisions. Heck, it actually sends Atlanta to another conference altogether. So it's not completely lacking in Bettman-esque stupidity.

Of course, this will probably all change when the Penguins end up in Kansas City. But I'll save that discussion for another time.

Worthy Causes

This is the part where I take a break from my hectic holiday schedule to take note of a few things that you've probably already seen, but I feel strongly enough about them that I think you need to see them again.

First, Caps Nut is all over the current fiasco that is the NHL's online All-Star voting. In case you haven't noticed, the general populace is horribly disrespecting Ovie and we, as Caps fans, need to do something about it.

Second, the guys over at On Frozen Blog are keeping tabs on an even more important fiascotasterastrophe, the NHL's planned sweater change. This is something that we, as hockey fans, need to make sure never actually happens. Not because we would have to look at it, but because if we ever want our sport accepted as anything other than a joke, we need to make sure the players we root for don't look like clowns out on the ice. (EDIT: They've done it again. I can't let their rant about the "O" go unnoticed.)

And last but not by any means least, something that actually matters. Because, in the grand scheme of things, all of our concerns about sports pale in comparison to real issues.