Showing posts with label The Whipping Boy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Whipping Boy. Show all posts

9.10.2007

Rookie Camp - Day 3: Pretty Colors Edition

In case you were wondering whether I have anything better to do during my vacation than travel out to Ballston to attend Day 3 of the Caps' rookie camp, the answer, obviously, is no. I made the trek out there once again today and once again I was treated to, well, a bunch of young hockey players skating around (I swear it's not as exciting as it sounds). This time around, it was even more difficult to get a read on whether any particular players were really sticking around as, unlike Saturday, nobody had their names on their backs. They were nice enough, however, to color code themselves, which didn't actually help, but was at least a little more interesting visually. Which gave me something to do, as I tried to obtain photographic evidence of all seven colors. Ultimately, I missed only the burgundy duds:

Orange

Black

Green

Grey

Red and White

If I had to pick one player who particularly impressed me, I'd go with Andrew Joudrey, who had an impressive moment towards the end of practice when, during an offensive zone drill, he took the puck from the bottom of the left circle, curled around three other players to the top of the slot and then sent a backhand shot over Daren Machesney's outstretched leg and into the net.

The more interesting part of the day, though, was watching the guys from the big club skate after the rookies were done. Specifically, it was fun to watch Olie Kolzig. Having never really attended a Caps practice before, I've only ever heard the well-spoken, made-for-TV Olie, so it was a little bit odd to hear him in practice sounding, well, more like a sailor than a hockey player. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Towards the end of the team skate, as the guys were having a somewhat loose scrimmage that had less defense than a typical NHL All Star Game, Olie, after getting scored on for maybe the third or fourth time, started into a profanity-laced tirade. His complaint (and I'm paraphrasing here, attempting to translate it into a more family-friendly version) was that the scrimmage was basically a waste of time as a result of guys not taking it seriously. He urged his teammates to "pick up the... pace".

The amazing thing was the seemingly instant change in the atmosphere. What had been a light-hearted game of shinny suddenly turned into a hard-fought battle. As hard-fought as an informal pre-training camp skate can be, anyway. It is one thing to hear the players talk about how much of a team leader Olie Kolzig is, and another to see them play at a higher level when he is on the ice as opposed to Brent Johnson of Frederic Cassivi. But it is another thing altogether to witness it in person. It was a moment that made me appreciate Olie's presence on the team that much more.

On a more light-hearted note, I am convinced that David Steckel is trying to kill me. It wasn't enough that he "accidentally" fired a puck directly towards my head (thank goodness for plexiglass), he then had the audacity to flip a puck up over the netting that hit me in the shin. Not only that, but he managed to do it at a moment when I was looking away from the ice, leaving me with absolutely no proof whatsoever that he was the one who shot it. He who laughs last, laughs loudest though, and my revenge is, as always, swift and severe. Dave Steckel, congratulations, you are the newest KHFC Whipping Boy©.

The grisly results of Dave Steckel's viscious attempt on my life.

3.21.2007

The Season Isn't Over Yet? Seriously?

Many people never quite understood my exasperation with Dainius Zubrus. Or, if they understood, they probably didn't agree. But tonight, during the first period, Joe Beninati uttered the following words: "Zubrus has his stick lifted by a back-checking Alexander Semin." No, that isn't a typo, you read "Alexander Semin". This may be the only instance in the history (and the future) of hockey that anybody has been succesfully defended by a back-checking Alexander Semin, and I defy you to find another forward in the NHL besides Dainius who could make it happen.

In other Caps-Sabres news, I went ahead and granted commenter/younger brother/sometime contributor DefDude a reprieve over on the left side of the page, replacing him with Brian Pothier immediately after a Pothier turnover resulted in the Sabres' second goal. Just three minutes later, he goes and scores a goal. Do not doubt the power of the KHFC Whipping Boy© award. (Please note that the Capitals are 2-1 with a total of 14 goals scored in the three games since the inception of the KHFCWB©. I don't think it is too far out of the question for me to take full credit for the wins over Toronto and Tampa Bay.) (No, his goal is not enough to earn him a reprieve. A poor decision by the judge of a certain nickname contest might get him off though.)

In other news, I get the chance to say, once again, that "All [Donald Brashear] does is score goals!" Also, shots to the head of Andrew Peters, who is going to need some Advil when he gets home tonight. And then again some more a week from now. If ever you find yourself wondering "Would it be a good idea for me to get in a fight with Donald Brashear?", I beg you to watch a video of tonight's fight. Because you, not being a professional hockey player, will probably be killed.

Oh right... Also, the Caps lost by a wide margin. The result is pretty much irrelevant, so I don't particularly care to comment on it other than to say that, if a few bounces in the first period go another way, the Caps probably jump out to an early lead and end up at least taking the Sabres to overtime. But they didn't, so they didn't. Oh well.

3.19.2007

"Oh I get it, it's very clever."

The first rule of Kevin Hatcher Fan Club is: You do not talk about Kevin Hatcher Fan Club. (Not really, but just roll with me here.) The second rule of Kevin Hatcher Fan Club is: You do not correct Biff's grammar and/or spelling.

And so it is that commenter/younger brother/occasional contributor DefDude came to be the newest KHFC Whipping Boy©.

3.16.2007

Snubbed!

CapsChick has announced the winner(s) of her little nickname contest, and guess who was Winner #1? Not me! I call shenanigans. Nobody makes Biff number two!

As retribution for this injustice (and mostly because I feel bad about putting him there in the first place), Steve Eminger's reign as KHFC Whipping Boy© is over after just twelve hours. Take that, CapsChick!

3.15.2007

Caps Finish Season Series Against Bruins At Even .500

Sort of. If you want to count 0-0-4 as an even .500 record. For the purposes of making me feel better, I'm going to go ahead and do just that.

It would be easy (and kind of lazy) to pin all of the blame for tonight's loss to the Bruins squarely on Steve Eminger and his prodigious ability to whack opposing players in the face with his hockey stick at the worst possible moment, but it is exactly what I am going to do anyway. Because that is just how I roll. In fact, I am going to go so far as to give Stevie E. the dubious distinction of being the inaugural Kevin Hatcher Fan Club Whipping Boy©. "What is the Kevin Hatcher Fan Club Whipping Boy©?" you ask? The premise is simple. Now, instead of having to actually read my blog to figure out which NHL player I derive the most enjoyment from disparaging, you can simply look to the right side of the page and see that it is Dainius Zubrus. Or, rather, would have been, if I had gotten off my ass and instituted this beguiling feature before he got traded. Because I really did take all kinds of perverse pleasure in finding new and creative ways to deride him. (I also missed out on John Erskine. Which is a shame.)

To be fair, I actually like Steve Eminger and feel most of the harsher criticism directed his way is unwarranted, and he had a pretty good game tonight if you take away the two minutes he spent in the penalty box watching the Bruins storm back to tie the game. Actually, if you take away the two minutes Eminger spent in the box, the entire team played really well. The defense (most specifically Eminger, in fact) looks a lot better with Olie "God" Kolzig between the pipes. They were much more aggressive physically, and one can only assume that much of this derives from the feeling of security that comes from having an extra safety net in front of the... ummm... net.

But, alas, you can't take away the two minutes Stevie E spent in the box. Unless you are magic. In which case, I would appreciate it if you would go back and take away those two minutes. Because Olie really deserved to win this game. As much as I like Brent Johnson, and while he did a more than adequate job in relief of Kolzig, Olie is simply on a whole other level. Without Olie in net, this game never even goes to overtime. In fact, if I had been living in a cave the past month and had just now emerged, you would have had a pretty hard time convincing me that he had missed any time at all.

Also, to whoever out there is magic and is planning on going back in time to change the outcome of tonight's game, I ask that you also find away to make sure Marc Savard becomes a free agent this offseason. Because... well, yeah.

Recaps From People That Matter:
-A View From the Cheap Seats
-Bleatings From a Caps Nut
-Japers' Rink
-Puckhead's Thoughts
-The Peerless Prognosticator