Time For Some Shameless Non-Hockey Related Self-Promotion

I've some bad news, my dear reader(s). If you thought my updating of this here blog has been sporadic since the Caps' season ended, that was just the beginning. As much as I'd like to, I doubt you'll hear very much of me during the playoffs.

"Why?" you ask? Well, I'll be spending most of my evenings from here through June 24th working on this play. Which you should absolutely go see, by the way. Because perfomances are May 18th-June 24th, Thursdays-Saturdays at 8:00 PM and Sundays at 3:00 PM.

So, if you were one of those people who was really hoping to hear my thoughts on the second round series between the Senators and Rangers , I'm very sorry to have disappointed you. What you should probably do is go here.

Here Come the Playoffs!!!

J.P. has a rather excellent method for you to use to help predict the outcome of the various playoff series you'll be seeing over the coming weeks. But I wanted to give you a little extra "insider information". So take a look at Eastern Conference Standings as they would have looked under the NHL's old points system (i.e. 2 points for a win, 1 for a tie, no shootouts or points for losing, because there are no points for losing in the playoffs, or shootouts, but you knew that already).


If anyone was wondering, yes, I'm rooting for Ottawa.

2006-07 Season In Review

I know, the season ended a good three days ago and I still haven't posted the obligatory Year-End Wrap Up. I do apologize for thinking it was more important to worry about the fact that my apartment is currently taking on water faster than the... ummm... I dunno, fill in your own damn metaphor. The point is, I've decided to take my time and do this right, so it's taken me a little longer to write this entry, but I hope you'll find it worth the wait. I give you the Caps Year in Review, in convenient bullet-point format:

• October 5 - Caps start off the season the only appropriate way they could think of with a 5-2 loss to the Rangers.
• October 6 - Caps Nut's first use of the words "Ultimate Fighting".
  
• October 7 - The Caps' Russian named Alex only scores his first goal of the year, while the Caps' Russian named Alex scores his second, third and fourth for his first NHL hat-trick en route to a 5-2 win over the Hurricanes.
• October 12 - The Caps lose 3-2 to the Minnesota Wild. The game is notable as the Caps' first shootout loss of the season.
• October 18 - The Caps score five goals in the first period to beat the Panthers. That's right, I said "beat the Panthers". Looking back, it doesn't make any sense to me either.
• October 25 - The Caps kick off their only trip west of the Mississippi with a win over the Colorado Avalanche.
• October 30 - The Caps finish the road trip with an "above .500" record of 2-1-1 with a win over the Calgary Flames. (They finished the month of October at 4-3-4.)
• October 31 - The Caps waive the legendary Rico "Suavé" Fata.
• November 4 - The Caps travel to Philly and win for the first time in nearly nine years.
• November 13 - The Caps beat the Panthers again?! Really? The Caps beat the Panthers twice? How? Ironically, it would be the Caps last win for over two weeks until...
• November 22 - The Caps and Thrashers are involved in some sort of physical altercation.
• November 24 - The Caps' Blogosphere (or Clogosphere, as I like to call it) becomes 17% stupider.
  
• November 28 - Olie Kolzig beats the Tampa Bay Lightning, ending the Caps' six game winless streak.
• November 30 - The Caps beat Jeff Halpern's Dallas Stars to finish the month of November with a 6-6-2 record and a 10-9-6 record overall.
• December 2 - Probably one of the highest highlights of an otherwise abysmal season when the Caps manhandle the eventual President's Cup winning/Eastern Conference quarterfinals losing Buffalo Sabres by a 7-4 final score. Sabres fans and players alike all take a cue from The Whiny Little Bitch and, well, whine and bitch like the whiny little bitches they all are. Except Chris Drury. Chris, if you're reading this, I love you and I want you to come live in my city.
• December 11 never happened.
• December 15 - The first Caps Bloggers Happy Hour sees Alex Ovechkin beat the Atlanta Thrashers 3-2.
  
• December 16 - The Caps season hits it's highest point with a 4-1 win over the hapless Flyers. The win gave the Caps a 15-10-7 record for 37 out of a possible 64 points (a .578 percentage), a mark they wouldn't approach again.
• December 26 - Gutless Punk Daniel Briere spears Alex Ovechkin in the, erm, "groin".
• December 30 - A 4-1 loss to the NY Rangers gives the Capitals a 6-7-1 for the month of December and a 16-16-7 record for the 2006 portion of the season.
• January 9 - The Capitals complete their first ever season sweep of the Flyers on Hershey Bears night at Verizon Center. Their third straight win gives fans hope that the second half of December was merely a fluke. Four days later, on...
  
• January 13 - They prove it was not.
• January 16 - Caps Bloggers Happy Hour Version 2.0 sees the Caps fall to the Ottawa Senators to the delight of no one. Except Chanuck.
• January 24 - Sidney Crosby fails to record a single point and the MVP award goes to a Gutless Punk in the 55th NHL All-Star Game.
  
• January 30 - Another loss to the Senators sees the Caps finish with a January record of 5-7-0 and gives them a 21-23-7 record heading into the year's shortest month.
• February 1 - Boston police recieve an urgent 911 call from Bruins GM Peter Chiarelli claiming he has just been robbed.
• February 8 - The LA Kings earn the distinction of being the only team in the NHL to lose a shootout to the Capitals.
  
• February 12 - The Caps already faint playoff hopes officially die.
• February 18 - Caps Bloggers Happy Hour Version 3.0 sees the Caps lose to the Penguins. Have I mentioned that I hate the Penguins?
• February 27 - The Caps trade two defensemen and two third-line wingers a third line winger and a first line center on Deadline Day. Caps fans everywhere (or maybe just here) prepare for the official End of the World.
• February 27 - The Caps respond to the various deadline deals by losing, fittingly, in a shootout to the Florida Panthers. They end the month of February with a 3-6-4 record and head into March with a 24-29-11 record overall.
• March 1-15 - The Caps start the month off right by going 0-5-2 and scoring thirteen goals over their first seven games.
• March 12 - Caps Bloggers Happy Hour Version 4.0 sees the Caps lose to the Atlanta Thrashers.
  
• March 16-18 - The Caps get back on track by winning back to back games over the Lightning and the Maple Leafs, scoring twelve goals in two games.
• March 21-31 - The Caps finish the month off right by going 0-5-1 and scoring thirteen goals over their final six games. They finish the month of March with a 2-10-3 record and head into the final month with a 26-39-14 record overall.
• April 3 - Olie Kolzig gets his first shutout in three years.
  
• April 7 - The season finally, mercifully ends with a 2-0 loss to the Buffalo Sabres. Gutless Punk Daniel Briere spears Milan Jurcina.
  
• April 7 - J.P. gets in on the bringing people together act and hosts a most excellent funeral for the Caps at Clyde's. At the party, I do not get carried away at all with the open bar and do not have probably too much to drink. Because I am classy.

Of course, these are just the moments that jumped out at me. I'm sure you have your own special moments from this season that you'd like to have fondly remembered in the form of a blog post that few people will read. That's why I encourage you to add your own additions to this list in the comments section.

The Random Can

I went to the vending machine at work yesterday to buy a can of Coca-Cola, and this is what popped out...

Day Late and a Dollar Short

Look! An internet connection! Right here in my very own apartment! Yay! I can finally do my recap of Monday's Nationals game. Or, rather, my recap of my day at RFK Stadium which also, unfortunately included a Nats game. Anyway... lots of people have posted videos of the President's Race that are a lot like this one:



But how many people have posted a random, three-second video of Teddy Roosevelt walking through the concourse? None. But fear not, because Biff is here to save the day.



There are pictures, too, if you simply click here.